out of office

Hootchi Cootchi is taking a 4th of July break and hitting up the woods for a weekend of camping and rivering and drinking! And we will be sure to put on plenty of sunblock:

All proceeds of the Will Ferrell sunblock benefit Cancer for College, a non profit for college students who are current or former cancer patients. Get yours HERE!

via scanner

working girls on twitter

So by now you have heard about how Craigslist is no longer offering it’s “erotic services” section. Something we could have (should have) covered here, but eh. So where have all the working girls gone?

That I am not certain, but one thing I do find strange is that in the past few months I have  a few new Twitter “followers” (I signed up early LAST year and have hardly touched it since), who are clearly ladies looking to make some sexy time bucks. Now I get that people add people all the time and want a million followers, but just like in Facebook land I don’t add people willy nilly and only accept people I actually like. Anyway, the point is, I don’t use Twitter and I don’t add or accept people, but I have had an influx of working girls.

This led me to do some research (googling) and  was suprised that there was not more out there on it and actually more than anything, “Twitter Escorts” will actually get you to Twitter Escorts. So maybe it is not a “thing” or maybe people are just keeping it on the down low so it does not go the way of Craigslist. And I am the last person in the world to give any two cents about the sex industry, but I found a few articles to share:

-The Village Voice Blog ponders whether twitter users using it to rate escorts is a”scoop or a sting”: “Is This a Thing? Twitter Escort Services “

-A fellow named Trent Lapinski blogs what he calls “Twittering A Prostitution Revolution”. But the interesting thing is that he name checks and links to some of these girls, who actually respond in the comments.

-Gawker: “Prostitutes All Over Twitter, Naturally“

-And possibly an even more likely scenario: “Hackers Using Sexy Girls to Infect Twitter Users“

-Related: Slate- The Craigslist Sex Panic

tony danza! naked!

With the overwhelming popularity of naked Madonna, I feel obliged to post a photo of naked Tony Danza. Here is Tony Danza today:

And here he is younger and less clothed (nsfw obviously):

hiv in the porn industry – meta hootchi cootchi

Most likely you have heard by now that there was a case of HIV in the porn industry these past few weeks. This is an issue I’ve been interested in since the last outbreak in the porn industry in 2003 so I’ve been following the responses of the “blogosphere” (or whatever the fuck) very closely. I present to you, a meta-analysis of what I’ve seen to describe the situation and then offer up my totally biased opinion.

vacation of a lifetime

Gross.

(sorry about the slow posting, i’m trying to round-up a big post about HIV in the porn industry but I’m busy with “work” and “getting paid” and “watching tv” and “figuring out my life” or whatever the fuck.)

i want to do bad things to you

I have developed a vampire thing. I think it stems from Buffy and does not involve Twilight, but oh True Blood I do love. Sundays season premiere had plenty of hot bloody vampire sex and Nerves Scanner was smart eneough to snag some dirty screen shots! Go HERE for some NSFW captures.

…and the season two teaser trailer

the bfe

Remember how I told you about Sasha Grey the porn star making non porn movies with Steven Soderbergh in The Girlfriend Experience? Well some wacky internet kids made a spoof trailer called The Boyfriend Experience. Funny! Sfw!

via scanner and the frisky

its complicated

next time you need to explain to some poor hapless chap what is going on in your girl parts, show him this:

via nerve

butt plugs with mad flava

Things haven’t been so good in Secondlastwishy-ville. Or they have been too good? I went on a much needed vacation and then was sucked into the deepest bowels of work. There’s a fairly good chance I will be laid off…which I think is more of a good thing if I’m honest with myself. Mostly I’m in a state of flux that I don’t like, which is also not conducive to blog posting.

I need to start some different type things. I’m going to still post here and there but I’m going to have to ignite my inner hustler. We’re selling off our stuff here, but I’m trying to find new income streams (panty selling?).

In order to honor this week of getting fucked. Up the ass. I give you women with things fucking their asses. But in a pretty way.

NSFW.

name that shlong…today!

Oh Isabella Rosellini I love your subsersive Sundance Channel porn. And now you are taking it mainstream. The Sundance Channel is having a contest called “Name that Shlong” that is in colaboration with a  handful of other sex blogs. I am so lazy, I am just NOW bringing you this bit of news and the contest ends today!  You can win a bunch of Sundance schwag and all you have to do is head over to one of the blogs below to name the shlong in the comments! Sundance has provided you with a GRAND GALLERY OF PENISES so happy penis hunting! (and really, the giant paper animal penises are really artfully done)

Green LA Girl

Fleshbot 

Essin Em

Sustainablog

Em and Lo

what’s the matter with kansas?

Talk about timing. A new documentary film is about to premiere that takes a look at the conservative rise in Kansas and has interviews with Dr. Tiller who states that “if a stake has to be driven through the heart of the anti-abortion movement, I want to have my hand on the hammer.”

via broadsheet

i told you so

Is the honeymoon over already? Are we becoming an old married couple who only does it (blogs) cause we realize that we *should* not because we want to? Or maybe we are just as in love, but  busy with life and stuff and before we know it we have left you hanging without a post for longer than we would have liked. Either way, know we are aware of it and working on it and you need to let us know how you feel and what your needs are so we can be sure they are being met.

That being said! The internet has been slow and low on fodder lately (and I have not really been looking!) but there have been a few “news” items that have came out recently that I could have told you “duh” about. I mean, are these things that I am glad that someone “researched” and “cleared up” but if you would have asked me I could have told you the same. Maybe I should become a sex researcher?!

-Socially Dominant Women Enjoy Sexual Submission Fantasies: Psychology Today looks at sexual domination and submission fantasies in men and women and finds that everyone likes a good submission fantasy, but “bossy” women particularly like it MORE. Do take this with a grain of salt though, because part of the research is based on Letters to Penthouse. But still, if you would have just asked me…And Part 2

-Withdrawal actually works!: It seems like for forever the idea of withdrawal as a form of birth control was snickered at. That people who practiced it were only just waiting to get pregnant. That only idiots would do something so risky! Well finally someone actually did some research and found that in monogamous couples, when practiced correctly that it is almost as effective as condoms with a 4% failure rate. That being said, most people are idiots and all birth control methods are never as nearly effective in real life than they are in “perfect use”, but still I am glad that this method might get a little more r-e-s-p-e-c-t. In fact I know more women who have not gotten pregnant via this method than those who have gotten pregnant with other methods. Via feministing, jezebel and abcnews.

silenced

I’m kind of torn up about the murder of Dr. Tiller. And I’m a little weirded out by my own post about Dr. Tiller written in March.  To quote myself:

In my little world I’ve noticed a lot more crazy reactionary weird shit happening. I have a theory that now that Obama is in office, all the crazies are going ape shit crazy because they are scared of a new regime.

Talk about the shittiest thing ever to be right about.

I’m not exactly sure how to channel my feelings. Most blogs are encouraging donations to abortion providers and abortion rights organizations. If you’ve got the money maybe that’s worthwhile. I’m not sure it’s going to change minds, but at least it will help buy more bullet proof vests.

Watch this movie too. I used to work for an abortion provider, not in the clinic setting. Still, paranoia sets in and life stress is always ramped up just a little bit; I can’t imagine life for the actual providers.

mid week mens!

Reed Massengill has compiled a collection of vintage male erotica in his book Uncovered. While I have no desire to look at most of what is put out these days (admittedly they are not targeted for me!), these (though also not targeted for me!) I could get into:

a few more pictures can be found via gaywired via scanner

more PG porn…

Maybe the entire cast of Firefly will participate eventually…

High Poon with Alan Tudyk and Belladonna from Spike TV.  I don’t think we posted the Sasha Grey/James Gunn one…which is shorter and more watchable in my opinion.And seriously WordPress, can we get with the embedding?

Honestly, I’m not sure I like these. I find them sort of boring but I just like Nathan Fillion and Alan Tudyk and I was interested in the Sasha Grey hype. In fact, this whole endevour feels like something that someone like me *should* like which annoys me.  And so then, when I find moderate enjoyment in watching them I feel all dirty (and not in a good way).

You know what’s even worse? Following these people on Twitter and eating from the hipster taco trucks. Sometimes this town is like a slippery slope man and it will just eat you up and spit you out.

I need a vacation. Away from LA.

<embed width=”320″ height=”240″ src=”http://www.spike.com/efp” quality=”high” bgcolor=”000000″ name=”efp” align=”middle” type=”application/x-shockwave-flash” pluginspage=”http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer” flashvars=”flvbaseclip=3157900″ allowfullscreen=”true”> </embed> <div style=”font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif;font-size:12px; background-color: #000; width: 448px; padding: 3px 0; color: #fff;”><a href=”http://www.spike.com/video/pg-porn-high-poon/3157900″ style=”color: #ffcc35; margin-left: 5px;”>PG PORN: High Poon</a> | <a href=”http://www.spike.com/channel/girls” style=”color: #ffcc35″>Girls</a> | <a href=”http://www.spike.com/” style=”color: #ffcc35″>SPIKE.com</a></div>

get poked

From Kat through this link, an intriguing tale of adventure gone awry. Terribly awry. From the moment these people started talking about sex laws in Florida.

The law in the US state of Florida specifically forbids having sex with a porcupine, and for a good reason, as two tourists from Russia discovered while trying to break it.

The Sunshine State is rather restrictive on what you can do between the sheets. No doing it if you are not married; no kissing your wife’s breast; no oral sex; no indulging in Kama Sutra; and absolutely NO SEX WITH PORCUPINES!

However two tourists from St Petersburg, Russia, decided to defy the wise instruction of Florida’s legal system and engage in lewd activity with the spiked beast, reports Tvoy Den tabloid.

The idea came to Anton, 32, and Evgeny, 30, after a long party with a lot of booze. A guideline into weird and outwardly dumb laws of different American states was its centrepiece, and the one about porcupines apparently caught the friends’ imagination.

“We’re here to have as much fun as we can,” decided Anton after a brief discussion, and the whole company went out into the Floridian woods in search of illegal pleasures. Unfortunately for them they found one.

The newspaper didn’t go into technical details about what happened next, but the next day both men, who spent the night taking a flight to Los Angeles, had to go to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. The diagnosis was hardly unexpected: porcupine needles in the genitals.

The damage caused by the porcupine fighting for its honor was horrific. Both Anton and Evgeny had severe inflammation and nearly lost their private parts. At least they didn’t have to answer to the law, having left Florida before seeking medical help.

to boldly go there

Star Trek! Porn!

io9 has compiled the ultimate geek porn history: To Boldly Go There: A History Of Star Trek Porn, With Clips [NSFW]

You can head on over there to read without seeing any dirty porn stills, but they break down the history of Star Trek porn from Sperm Trek to Sex Trek: The Next Penetration. There is duscussions of what color vulcan sperm is and how Spocks ears inevetibly always grow when he is aroused. For reals. If anything watch some of the newer clips for the just plain silliness. Star! Trek! Porn!

related: more geeky porn stuff can be found at the blowfish blog including a link to a steampunk vibrator!

10 things you didn’t know about orgasm…

Mary Roach, author of Bonk, did a TED talk about orgasms!  You’re going to have to link through because it won’t embed.

There’s a lot in the talk from the book, but it’s interesting enough for me and I just finished the book not so long ago. I was somewhat disappointed with the book, so this 16 minutes seems so much more reasonable.

Also, I’m way into the TED talks right now.

“you think because i’m a porn star i don’t eat popsicles like normal people?”

It was hot this weekend. Like really hot. I should have gotten some popsicles!

For your weekday cool down, you might want to watch Belladonna in “how to eat a popsicle like a porn star”. The first part is totally sfw and funny. After the credits though, it is totally nsfw porn star and popsicle funny:

 

the hootchi cootchi round-up

I think neither of us is feeling too inspired with anything lately, hence the slow writing and the weird cake posts. But I feel like I should let you know that April was our biggest month ever. Bigger than back when we started and the pervs gave us the big numbers (since then WordPress has taken us off tag searches). We still get pervs, just the more crafty ones. And you know what they love? Naked Madonna.

On to the round-up!

Midwest Teen Sex Show is going to be on Comedy Central…which is great for them and even better for the youth of today.

Get your ticket to the now touring Air Sex World Championships, where people blow air (see photo).

Follow us on Twitter. I try not to duplicate too much between blog, Facebook and Twitter. It’s hard to do so go forth and appreciate the balancing act.

Hans Rosling gives a TED talk about HIV rates across the world. It’s 10 minutes and interesting and entertaining and informative. He schools people about treating Africa as a continent instead of looking at HIV from a more localized perspective.

from one to one

I am busy! The internet is low on fodder! Everyone loves sparklers!

via reverse cowgirl

something for everybody

Congressman Alcee Hastings went before the House recently in support of a grant that would expand definitions of and protection of hate crimes.  But he totally had to school the house in the ways of  gerontosexuality, apotemnophilia, coprophilia, frotteurism  and klismaphilia in addition to even more stuff I have never heard of. Funny and totally sfw:

happy mother’s day!

(does it have a tail? is that a coach base? a unicorn horn?)

And for those expecting…

via Jezebel & Cake Wrecks.

girls with animals

I don’t really know much about what’s going on here with this Mel Ramos fellow (the artist on these pieces). I just know that it’s hard to find art with naked people and animals that doesn’t make me feel dirty. These don’t! Or maybe they should? The anteater one (you’ll have to link through) is a little weird the more I look at it.

nsfw.

“Wow you are such a nice person, I heard you were such a bitch”

I somehow stumbled across a Kathleen Hanna fan made myspace where “Herstory” is posted from the Le Tigre website-basically her autobiography (up till 2005 that is!). What I want to know is where is she now?!

So since it is slow and I am busy, for you:

MY HERSTORY by Kathleen Hanna
 I arrived on this planet on the same day as Tonya Harding. We could’ve even been born at the same hospital since we’re both from Portland, Oregon. I also share my birthday (November 12th) with Charles Manson and Mahatma Gandhi. Maybe this explains my freakishly dualistic, hot-headed, Scorpio personality.

In 1971 my family moved from Portland, Oregon to Calverton, Maryland so my Dad could commute to DC for his new job. We moved around a lot back then, about every three years, living in Laurel, then Bethesda and then for high school we moved back to Portland and my parents got divorced. During high school I was pretty much obsessed with three things: 1) going to shows (punk and reggae); 2) smoking weed; and 3) drinking alcohol. Yes, it’s true I was a teenage lush/burn-out, constantly on suspension or being put into special “get off drugs” classes at school.

By some crazy luck I made it into college (on probationary terms!) and moved up to Olympia, WA where I studied photography at the Evergreen State College. While I loved school it was often frustrating. There were hardly any women’s studies courses at the time, and some of the male photography professors were openly sexist. (Luckily there were also great teachers like Steve Davis who totally encouraged me above and beyond the call the duty). I had a work-study job in the darkroom and eventuallyI put on my own little photo show with this artist named Aaron Baush-Greene. His work was about AIDS and mine was about sexism, but almost nobody saw it. The school administrators took it down in the middle of the night after it was up for only a few days.

after the jump the Herstory continues!