hootchi cootchi

of course a bed

secondlastwish — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 01:02:52 +0000

This is fun because all throughout college I would buy furniture from Ikea and try my best to remember and refer to furniture by the Ikea name. To this day, Mr. Secondlastwish and I fold clothes and put them in Malm.

If Hootchi Cootchi were Swedish, this is what we would be named:

iron maidenette

secondlastwish — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 00:20:36 +0000

I don’t want kids, but this little gal makes me think otherwise. If I could guarantee that my spawn would be a hesher, I might go for it. (via PLAYGIRL blog)

Watch out Bruce Dickinson, she’s still got long hair (this is an Iron Maiden reference which reminds me that I have an Iron Maiden post in the future.)

my life. in chat.

wetdove — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 23:20:19 +0000

With the invention of gchat my conversations with those in my life have been elevated to a whole new level. These are all different people and for the sake of being nice on the internets I took out their names- I even asked permission of one!

——

me: i also read a somewhere that orgasms and such are hereditary AND i saw dr oz on oprah and he was talking to a lady who was super mult orgasmic (20+) and so were her mom and sisters. but for some reason i just dont feel ok asking my mom and sis about their orgasms

someone else: me neither. i would feel more comfortable asking YOUR mom than mine. bleh.

——

someone else: did you know I’m a strong supporter of helping hands, and have been for ten years do you know i have 5 saves

me: i think maybe i remember something about that?

someone else: do you know what a save is

me: no im confused!

someone else: i’m a pro lifer

me: im confused now

http://www.monkeyhelpers.org/

helping hands?!

——

someone else: i’m reading hootchi cootchi i can’t believe so many men masturbate at work

me: …ha! i cant believe more women DONT!

someone else: i can’t imagine masturbating at any of the jobs i’ve had

me: i was just looking at waxing prices and it says “derriere- $15″ that is all they charge for a ASS WAXING?!

someone else: hahah! what a deal i guess?

me: i think i have at EVERY JOB i have held at least in the past 6 years

someone else: well i’m sure it doesn’t take long!

hahah

me: even at the church basement. im going to hell.

i wonder if getting a full leg wax is worth it?! or if there is a better at home way.

shaving my legs every day would sorta suck, but not really

and luckily for me i dont care about pit stubble strangely

someone else: yeah do the leg wax

i’m mean isn’t waxing better than shaving? like, lasts longer?

me: that is what they say- i have gotten a few bikinis and it lasts about a week. but im also a hairy bitch

someone else: haha are you???

june wrap up!

wetdove — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 18:55:20 +0000

Since we are going on 4 months old! (omg!) I thought it was time we started doing “wrap ups”- you know basically a “free” post for us that tells you all the good things you missed in the month or reminds you of your favorites. Technically I should have done this yesterday, but we don’t like standards around here. And realizing how LONG this list after I made it makes me think we might start doing weekly wrap ups, but I already made it- so for now June! Recapped!:

-Send your (dirty) panties to Burma

-Secondlastwish gets in on Sweaty Girl on Wheel Action

-Take a Ride in a Vagina

-Wetdove finds an excuse to use a medical illustration of a boob

-Swinging & Non-Dong Touching Trains

-Wetdove would be a well paid “working” girl

-Loads and loads of shirtless men

-Dirty Carrots

-Movies= Sex

-How many condoms do those in Antarctica really need? We do the math!

-Wetdove learns she is not alone in her use of a beard trimmer

-“I’m masturbating! I’m on my period!”

-The pill- we love to hate you

-We get SUPER EXCITED and a LITTLE GROSSED OUT by OVULATION CAUGHT ON CAMERA (!!!)

-Secondlastwish ponders a sex semantics decoder ring

-Secondlastwish scrapes her way to the top of the heap to become Boinkology’s commenter of the week!

-Wetdove ponders discount douche

-First kiss?

-We get our men hard and measure them in the name of “science”

-Secondlastwish talks how lame marriage is- gay OR straight

-Walk towards the light- A Coochi lamp

-“The best lube is lube”, we crush on Uncle Andy from Weeds

-We crush on derby girls

-We wish for modern day Golden Girls

-Nice melons!

-To queef or not to queef

-Wetdove wants to be a phone sex operator

-Cute animal sex!

-Stealing others posts: Dog harness and naked knit suits again!

-We consider taking “time apart”

-We crush on Juno, I mean Kitty Pryde, I mean Ellen Page

-Wetdove bruises herself with her new toy “The Hooker”

-We get all woody for boobies

-And last but not least, we wrap up June for you

wood, wine and boobs

secondlastwish — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 00:52:38 +0000

Mr. Secondlastwish dreams of wood-working. I think it would be fantastic if he made crazy shit like this boob cabinet. Behind the cut, boobs maybe not safe for some settings.

If you want more wooden body parts, click the photos.

(via PLAYGIRL blog, which is kind of awesome.)

my favorite new toy

wetdove — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 22:33:32 +0000

Dying to hear all about it?! Read more after the jump!

ok, I tricked you it is totally NOT a sex toy- but sorta looks like one, no?! I thought so as I was walking down the street with it after I said “no thanks” to the offer of a bag.

It is for you back! For acupressure points and general aches and pains! See I am the youngest old lady I know and have a whole host of problems that only seem to be solved by constant hard core massage, chiropractic, yoga and physical therapy. I had seen and played with this a few times at the new agey bookstore where I get my yoga stuff and decided to say fuck it and hand over $28.95 for this little plastic toy. And oh man, I must tell you it is good. See you throw the curve part over your shoulder and it hits all the pressure points along your spine. Throw it around your hips and you got your lower back. And last night when I was joking how it looked like a sex toy I found that sliding in between your legs and up and around it works on your sacrum. oh yeah….I have not put it down since. I walk around the house with it. I think it might just need a name, since my vibrator has one and all…suggestions?!

no place like home (again)

secondlastwish — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 15:01:53 +0000

One maybe perk of living in LA (depending on your perspective) is seeing famous people. It’s cliche but true that they are around. I’m not SO into celebrities, but when I see them I mention it and talk about it and sneak glances.

Some sightings in the past years that I remember were: Ben Kingsley at Olvera Street, Alicia Silverstone making out with a guy at a vegan restaurant, George from Grey’s Anatomy and Billy Zane (though not together) at the flea market.

And yesterday, my favorite at the derby:

she’s playing a skater in a new roller derby movie. fo shizz!

And you see, Ellen Page played Juno who was pregnant teen, thus making this appropriate for this blog. But in case you wanted more hootchi cootchi-ness, this SNL video from awhile back is supposed to be Ellen Page addressing lesbian rumors. I don’t really know how this addresses rumors, but I love a Suze Orman joke:

(And we saw the Wamu commercial guy but I can’t seem to find a picture.)

so busy, so slow posting

secondlastwish — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 00:01:59 +0000

harnessing the dog

secondlastwish — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 00:36:43 +0000

I totally steal from Bean’s blog because he apparently goes through the LiveJournal image stream on a regular basis and keeps track of all the good stuff. This one is kind of strange

And because people seemed to like it the last time around, the knit naked suits beyond the clip were also courtesy of his blog and the LJ stream.

where do unicorns come from?

secondlastwish — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 14:53:48 +0000

And Pegasus and Centaur…(click through for the full effect)

From Jason Sho